Do You Project What You Fear Onto Others, Thereby Provoking Them Until They Explode?

Do You Project What You Fear Onto Others, Thereby Provoking Them Until They Explode?

As a relationship therapist, I often have to also address childhood issues. This is because sometimes it is worth going back in time to understand what we’ve gleaned from our families, our parents and siblings, with regards how to communicate or how to relate to others. And through the family dynamics we are also taught — how to either hide or address issues. But this may not always be constructive. We may learn to also bury certain emotions, issues or experiences — especially if they’re too painful to manage. But once things get buried emotionally, it can become confusing especially to a child, with regards what is kept suppressed or hidden, and what is not. But also, how to communicate our feelings can become hard if we haven’t learnt these skills or indeed if we haven’t developed the language to do so.

Then, what is learnt in childhood usually gets taken into adulthood — and how we learnt to communicate or relate — gets mirrored in our relationships.

But also, we may pick up various messages about ourselves from our school teachers or indeed, our school friends, some of which may not always be very helpful. Children can be vicious towards one another and can leave emotional scars that may run deep. Sadly, children aren’t always given the opportunity to voice their unhappiness and again, some may not have developed the language to express what happened either. As a result, self-esteem and confidence may have been destroyed, and some of these painful feelings or experiences may have been suppressed — or even forgotten.

Also, if any trauma was experienced and then buried, possibly even hidden deep within the psyche or unconscious during childhood or maybe even in later years, then it may seem scary to undergo the process of unravelling or uncovering the memories. And addressing the feelings such as guilt, anger, rage that may go hand in hand with whatever trauma was experienced, may be difficult too, as it takes courage, patience and time to do dig and understand the past.

But, and as I keep repeating, buried issues often have a way of rearing their ugly heads least when you expect them too. And…