How To Cope With Grief In Our Later Years

I have been absent for a while, dealing with my mother’s estate in South Africa. I also lost another family member along with a further five very close friends over the past two and a half years. Recently I was asked to share my findings:

As a therapist but also via my own experiences I can certainly say that experiencing loss before midlife, has less consequences (unless of course, you lose a spouse and you have children to support). However, after you turn 50 or indeed 60 or 70, life changes. You know that the time has come when the possibility of losing more friends or a spouse becomes real and indeed, worrying. And this can cause anxiety especially if you don’t have financial or emotional support in place.

Suddenly, and no matter how fit or gorgeous you look, most younger people will sense that you are no longer young. And many (not all) may not want to hang around people who remind them of their parents. You are therefore forced mostly to rely on people either your own age or older. And as you get older, they get older, and as a result, you know that you may have to face a few more deaths at some point.

And when you lose people in later life, often you lose people who have known you for a very long time. People who have witnessed your struggles, as you theirs. People who have known your parents, shared your concerns, witnessed your struggles…