Sometimes There Is A Value Of Having Internet Trolls.

Sometimes There Is A Value Of Having Internet Trolls.

A few years ago, I decided to start a Facebook Group so as to share my relationship knowledge and observations with others. I did this in order to also develop a social media presence and to build my personal brand.

But with this came a few unintentional consequences.

Those days I had no experience of what we all now know and understand to be Internet trolls — or indeed, people who are abusive or argumentative, just for the sake of it.

Innocently, I thought that everyone in my group would be only too thrilled to receive and learn from my relationship knowledge and insights — which come from over 20 years of client observation.

How wrong was I.

I hadn’t quite realised — that out there are many people who are bored, who need a bit of drama and are looking for a bit of fun.

Very quickly I started getting argumentative and obstructive comments. At first I would try to reason and communicate, but soon I learnt that this was absolutely futile. Reasoning only makes matters worse.

In the end, I realised that the only way to deal with trolls — is to immediately block and delete.

But, there is however a difference between a troll and someone who disagrees politely. We all need to be challenged if necessary, and not everyone is going to agree with everything we write about.

In my case, I also have to deal with people whose emotional buttons are being pressed, or people who cannot understand that what I write about usually comes not from me — but from my observations and not from something I just conjured up in my head.

Over time, I gained a little more experience.

Looking back now, I realise that something very important was happening: You may have noticed that whenever you want to make positive changes in your life — things seem to fall apart first. Just as you intend to send that important e-mail, your computer crashes; just as you want to achieve things, a crisis happens and you get diverted. And suddenly you are faced with that all important question: Are you going to continue or are you going to give up?

I could have run a mile. Dealing with Internet trolls and abusive people is no mean feat. Instead I stayed. And consequently, I learnt to develop a very thick skin.

I still believe in accepting all connection requests. As a result, I have made amazing global contacts which I may never ever have otherwise made. I accept everyone. But if someone behaves disrespectfully — I now know what to do. I block and delete. Why? Because the energy it takes to reason with someone who is abusive and so on, uses up my valuable time — which could be used more productively.

But this article is not about blocking and deleting trolls. Rather it is about me thanking the trolls for giving me the opportunity to learn and gain a very thick skin as well as develop my writing voice.

Developing a social media presence has helped me grow and it has helped me build a new confidence which will stand me in good stead for many years to come.

And the other day I was asked whether — if what I know now, means that I would have stopped the process?

My answer?

Yes, I could have given up. But I wouldn’t be where I am today, had I done so.

The trolls allowed me a choice.

I persisted through the tough times and I now stand proud.

Sure it may happen again, but this time I am prepared — knowing that nothing, nothing will stop me from achieving my goals.

I therefore thank my dear trolls for giving me this learning opportunity to see just how strong I really am.

And touch wood (although I am not superstitious in any way), I have not dealt with trolls in a very long time. Once you pass the life lesson it seems and you choose persistence — then trolls are presumably no longer needed. Fingers crossed.

However, Stephanie Bennett Henry once wrote, “Life is tough my darling — but so are you.”

We should all remember this.

© 2017 Deidré Wallace. All rights reserved.

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About The Author

I am a fully qualified UK Psychodynamic Relationship Therapist, Life Coach and Teacher.

I am not offering relationship advice, I am offering relationship knowledge.

I encourage people to think differently and I help people understand how and why we choose our personal and business relationships.

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